Rachel Berry

“Becoming a mom did not change me; it made me feel even more like myself. I am more secure and confident because of it.”

Rachel recently returned to work after her one-year maternity leave with her daughter Violet. As a Canadian living in Scotland, she works as a Group Account Director for a Digital Agency where she attracts contracts and manages projects. Edinburgh has a smaller town feel, especially in contrast to Toronto where she was previously living and working. Working late is not the norm while putting family first is. In her family, they don’t talk about work at home and when at work her tasks and team are the focus. Of course, she always has Violet in her mind, but she can switch between work and home life quite seamlessly. People in Edinburgh are more chill than the Toronto crowd, so they find that Rachel is really driven and ambitious. Two traits that aren’t so outward facing for the Scots.  Having been so focused on her career for so many years, sometimes when Violet says “mom” she thinks…who?

Initially, maternity leave was not comfortable for Rachel. Rachel’s partner and her were fortunate enough to get one-month paternity leave when baby arrived and one-year maternity leave  However, living far from your family can mean your parents coming to stay with you and traveling home more often when you have the baby and it can be very intense for everyone involved.

Joining a mom group felt like “mom dating”; awkward at first but eventually she made connections with women she is compatible with outside their role as a mom. Rachel breastfeed exclusively, so there was an intense dependency that she had to adjust to. Those darn babies that just want their mamas make it real hard to have a life outside of being a parent! Rachel reflected to when her mother had her and how she felt the pressure to return to work right away whereas Rachel was fortunate enough to have the option and the ability to create more balance.

The decision was made to go back to work four days a week and take Wednesdays off. This allows time to handle other demands of life and break up the week. Travel is a part of her work schedule, but she is fortunate to have a husband who supports this and whose job allows him to handle her work trips and Violet’s sick days and child care drop-offs and pick ups from nursery (daycare).

Returning to work was quite difficult and emotional at first but she got back into it within a few months. People were very supportive during her transition back to work. This isn’t the case for many women, so it was nice to hear it went well but she felt the effects of “baby brain” when getting back into the flow.

Baby brain is a real condition that seems to start right when we get pregnant. I know I have experienced it on and off since being pregnant with my son Everett. Not only are we sharing nutrients and body space with our babies, we also share our brain cells. It doesn’t end once they are born. It seems we give birth to part of our brains when our children come into the world. Our minds are spread thin by the new thought load we take on.

Although she feels like the old Rachel now, something significant has changed. She feels she is approaching life a little more clearly. She is more focused on priorities and has realized it is important to let go of perfectionism with respect to keeping the house clean, work related stress and in every day moments. Rachel is also more selfish with her time, feeling that she needs to capitalize on the time she has on her own. Taking this time for herself makes her a better mother to Violet. Some ways she achieves this are though regular exercise and nights away.

In Scotland, the number of holidays employees get is extensive. For Rachel and her family this allows for a great lifestyle where they can enjoy time together on holidays aboard and visit her family back home. Her husband is from Scotland and has family close by which is a nice support system for them.

Rachel, Patrick and Violet are about to enter the exciting but disruptive world of home renovations; knocking down walls and installing a new kitchen and bathrooms. It is an exciting time as they are creating their dream home for their family and visiting relatives. They are attempting all of this before the birth of their next child. Rachel is currently pregnant with their second child and is due in July. This means possibly living in other accommodation when baby arrives, which they appreciate they will just have to adjust to. Fingers crossed the construction schedule stays on track for them!

Her children will be two years apart. She likes the idea of having her children close together just as she and her husband had siblings close in age. But she is also keen to get her body feeling back to normal. Child birth does a number on us physically and emotionally so getting ourselves feeling back to normal, or to our “new normal” is attractive to many women.

“How am I not creating a monster when we revolve everything around her”. When thinking ahead about what she wants to teach her children, Rachel worries about how access to so much will make them spoiled. By teaching them to work hard and be respectful; not expecting everything for nothing, she hopes to avoid the level of entitlement some youth exhibit today.

I wish you a smooth renovation and amazing birth of your next child Rachel. It is awesome to hear you are living your truth at work and at home even through the demands of motherhood. Thank you for sharing with us.

Story written by Jenn DiRaddo Jefferson of Career Pump

Stay tuned for our next Career Pump interview with a woman who recently changed industries to balance life as a single mother.

Follow my Instagram page @careerpump for career related impactful content.