“The best thing I can do as a parent is take care of myself.”
Why does this seem like such a hard concept? When we get on an airplane with children the flight attendant explains that we must put on our oxygen mask before we assist our child. Why don’t we follow this in all other areas with kids?
As a parent of young children, we can catch ourselves not drinking enough water, eating scraps off our kids plates while standing in the kitchen; comfort eating anything we can get our hands on and putting exercise at the very end of our to do list. It really is about survival!
I do think little changes are possible so we can take care of ourselves; making us more able to take care of others. I am working on filling up my cup by eating my breakfast sitting down, stretching at home if I can’t get to a class, stocking the fridge with foods I enjoy and give me energy. I don’t always exercise in the conventional way, but I do run after my toddler, walk my dog and lift my massive baby repeatedly, so on days where this is all I can fit in, I am learning to be content with that! Massage, physio and yoga are things my body needs and so I’m attempting to integrate this into my day even if it is self massage and yoga in my living room. What I have come to accept after talking to Suzanne is that all of this is ok while raising my young family and what I need to drop is the guilt, not the weight.
This post childbirth body of mine needs more nutrients and nourishment than ever before and if I really listen, I know what to fuel it with. Sometimes it needs to eat a perfect buttery croissant and enjoy every flake and sometimes it needs a perfectly ripe mango or avocado to refresh its energy. What it doesn’t need is to stress about food.
After talking to Suzanne for my latest Career Pump interview, I have decided to be mindful but also gentle with myself. She is a “non diet” dietitian with her own practice, Gut Instincts Nutrition Counselling. Her background and education are in working for non-profit social service organizations as a community worker, but she craved a more scientifically based career and decided to pursue a degree in Nutrition from Ryerson University.
Suzanne is a mom of boys, Kirin who is 8 and Asher who is 3.5. Messes, rushing and yelling are all part of her daily life; every stage has brought on new challenges, but she feels her life finally shifting into a routine and her head starting to pop up above water.
Being a person who has focused her career on nutrition and healthy relationships with food, it is interesting that she now deals with the struggle of her son Kirin who has severe food allergies discovered when he was a baby. He had eczema on his face and body and all the time, and finally reacted to hummus which brought it all to a head. Through constant trial and error, together with so much fear and focus around food, they figured out he is allergic to peanuts, most tree nuts, sesame, hemp seeds and pumpkin seeds. This list may grow but that is where they are at to date. As someone who loves food, this has been difficult for Suzanne to navigate. They cannot eat out at many places and it has been imperative to inform and educate daycare, school, camps, family and friends about his allergies and how to manage them.
Suzanne was working part-time for a family health team while navigating her son’s new-found allergies, pregnant with her second son, and supporting her mother and father while her father suffered from mental illness. Her pregnancy was also stressful due to a kidney condition detected during ultrasounds that needed to be more regularly monitored with bi-weekly ultrasounds to keep on top of it. Less than a year after her second son was born and during a new home renovation Suzanne lost her father. 8 months later her best friend became very ill and passed away. During this tumultuous time in her life, although it was tough financially, Suzanne decided to take 6 months off work. Her mental health was invaluable, and she knew it was the right choice for her and her family.
Once she felt ready to return to work, she decided to start her own practice. She took a course at a small business centre, presented a pitch about her business idea and received a grant to get started. Suzanne loves food and loves to eat (she is my kind of person!). Suzanne decided to specialize in working with people struggling with chronic dieting, digestive issues and eating disorders. Teaching her clients intuitive eating is how she coaches them to overcome their negative relationships with food. Suzanne wanted to see clients she was really passionate about helping. She sees clients one day in Guelph and one day in Waterloo per week, and this schedule works well for her and her family. There isn’t a lot of time for socializing right now but she does work-in exercise and makes sure she gets enough sleep to handle her busy days; also working some evenings.
Suzanne is battling the diet culture that encourages the belief that we can change our body shape and weight by our behaviour. “This culture is telling us there is something wrong with our bodies and shape and people are getting ill for the pursuit of weight loss.” Her programs focus on Health At Every Size ® and she sets non weight related goals with her clients. One client wanted to be able to play basketball for more than 10 minutes with his son. Another wanted to exercise without pain. These are the types of tangible goals she sets, and they are different for everyone. Many of her clients have lost the ability to read their hunger cues and no longer trust if they are hungry or full. She brings them back to normal eating by teaching them to understand their signals again, without judgement.
When it comes to feeding our children, a hot topic for many parents, Suzanne admits that selective eaters can be a challenge. “When eating becomes stressful, nutrition suffers.” – Ellyn Satter
“It is important that our mental health doesn’t suffer when we strive to have our children eat nutritious meals. Routine and predictability can help children with their eating habits and another essential part is eating together as a family as often as possible. But we must be realistic, kids may be up and down during a meal and fidget. Parents get to decide what, when and where to eat but kids get to decide if and how much they are going to eat – this is based on Ellyn Satter’s model”. Suzanne encourages us to respect our childrens’ hunger cues and look at the full day, week or even month when it comes to making sure they have a balanced and full diet. Depending on activity, mood and sleep their eating habits may change a bit day to day and week to week. If we stress too much over this, it won’t be healthy for us or our kids. Seeking out the advice of a registered dietitian can help assess a child’s nutrition.
I asked Suzanne for some advice to new mothers trying to keep their head above water while caring for their little ones and themselves. She said: “Try not to skip meals and snacks. Breastfeeding mamas need lots of food and it doesn’t need to be perfect. Whole grain carbohydrates, unsaturated fats, protein and water are vital for new Moms to have the energy they need. Play foods are a part of normal eating – take time to enjoy them if you can. Vitamin D and Omega 3 are two nutrients people are often low in. Fatty fish, egg yolks, walnuts are some sources of these. Ask for help with meals; eating out and ordering in is ok! Realize that stress and sleep deprivation can cause our hunger cues to be off.”
She also encourages us to respect our bodies and the changes they will go through in all the stages of life. It is a miracle to make, carry and feed a baby with our bodies. Going on diets can come at a time when you feel out of control (having kids can be the most out of control we have ever felt in our lives). Make sure you sleep and eat what you need. Realize your body is great the way that it is. If you can’t love your body, can you respect or appreciate small aspects of it?
Story by Jenn DiRaddo Jefferson of Career Pump Follow on Instagram @careerpump
Suzanne is dedicating her work and career to helping others and reshaping the way we view nutrition and respect our bodies. Follow her on Instagram @suzanne.dietrichrd or visit her website at http://www.gutinstincts.ca
Performing Under Mother Pressure 