This Little Estate
“As mothers we need to give ourselves complete grace. Life as a working parent is a teeter totter, impossible to keep in complete balance.”
Bethany is a helper. Her career, friendships and side interests all revolve around helping others. She isn’t as good at accepting help which is quite characteristic of many “helpers”. I too am a helper though since having kids I have learned to take all the help I can get! Bethany is mother of three kids. Caleb, Audrey and Lucas who are 13, 10 and 7 respectively.
Bethany met and married her husband quite quickly and soon became pregnant with her first child, Caleb. They were bad at marriage at the beginning, being so young, but they were driven to succeed in their relationship. In the last five years they have gotten into a groove that keeps them going strong. Part of the strength comes from shared passion for DIY and creating things. Bethany also enjoys reading about marriage and finding ways to get better and better at this relationship. I found this very interesting because if we approached our marriage or partnership the way we do our careers or motherhood we would probably all be a lot happier. When was the last time you read a book to help your relationship with your spouse or partner?
There have been many pivotal moments in Bethany’s life that have forced her to stop, reflect and redirect her career.
Bethany has a background in social work and is trained as a PSW (personal service worker). When working as a PSW she quickly realized she wanted to be her own boss. She went from sixty hours to fifteen because she was pregnant with her first son Caleb, so her employer cut her hours. It was experiences like this that made Bethany decide she didn’t want to work for someone else. But it wasn’t until after she had her three children that she was able to finally take that leap. Her pregnancy with Caleb went smoothly but he was born by emergency c-section.
When she had her daughter, Audrey, she almost died in childbirth from being septic. She then ended up back in the hospital after having an epidural spinal leak. During her two weeks in the hospital, she had many blood transfusions and her lungs collapsed. Her husband remembers this time more vividly than she does. Luckily his grandmother helped them out during this difficult time. Maternity leave didn’t really happen for her as she decided to change careers entering the world of hair salons as a receptionist only 7 weeks after her daughter was born. This led her to a three-year apprenticeship that became the foundation for her first business on her own.
Bethany owns and operates her salon in her home studio. She opened her salon after having her three children. Deep down she always knew she would own her own business and once she completed her apprenticeship, she renovated part of her home into a salon space. She had always been surrounded by entrepreneurs in every job she had, and it must have rubbed off because she has the spirit and drive. Hairstyling is not something she loves but she is good at it. After awhile she came to realize what she enjoys is helping people. People come to her and share things they don’t share with anyone else. They confide in her and she makes them look and feel great. She has owned her salon for seven years now and is not currently taking new clients.
She soon learned that even when working for yourself, you must answer to someone. That someone happened to be the city she lived in, and the people who reported her for not having the right licensing and permits. So, Bethany and her husband moved outside the city limits to avoid some of this control. The rules are always changing; making it difficult for home businesses to function. Every job has had a common thread of helping others. It comes from a long line of helpers in her family. A big family, she is one of six children and her father is a minister. Her mother always hosted women for workshops and invited them into her home. Bethany hopes to continue this in her own way in her home.
Her third child Lucas brought Bethany’s life to a halt. After a sudden car accident, she went into pre-term labour at 24 weeks and ended up on bed rest for the remainder of her pregnancy. They were able to stop the labour, but it meant many ultrasounds, a lot of monitoring and a lot of time to think and worry. Caring for two other children while on bed rest was near impossible and the fear of losing this child kept her up most nights. This is when she started her blog. Documenting their home renovation projects and her home life. Bed rest forced Bethany to slow down. She is a multitasker, rushing through life and this event caused her to stop and accept help. She had no other choice. A post she wrote during this time can be found on her blog and the raw honesty she puts out to the world makes you feel like you are right there with her experiencing the moment. It was this time in her life that led to her finally starting her own business (the salon) and the next direction for her career. Bethany and Art love to get their hands dirty and creating. They both turned their side hobby of home renovation into a side business.
Bethany is now an influencer in the home reno and décor realm of social media. This came about after buying her second home with her husband and taking on DIY renovations to create their dream home on a budget. She knows many people do not have the disposable income to complete the renovations that they may want to, but she strives to make spaces functional and beautiful within financial constraints. When renovating her own home, Bethany and her husband grew to love the experience of DIY projects and designing their space and wanted to share this with other people. They decided to take on renovating five homes for people who would not have been able to do it on their own. With her online profile, Bethany received a lot of support from sponsors willing to donate the materials needed to make these renovations a reality. She and Art donated their time.
Bethany has been sponsored by some large companies and has had many offers, but she chooses to stay streamlined with the brands she represents. Leon’s Furniture was her first large company and now more recently Home Hardware. She spoke in front of their franchise owners recently teaching them about how influencers can help strengthen their brand. It is a new way forward in marketing and many companies are jumping on board. Seeing their products in the home of someone they follow and trust on Instagram makes these brands more relatable for people.
Although her online life looks extremely put together, Bethany assures us that there is always mess behind her. She finds it interesting that people on her social media accounts only want to see perfection. She has tried revealing her mess and it is not received well. Today people want to see a beautiful picture and strive toward it. The problem comes when the comparison to your own life is so unrealistic. She has had to put a lawyer disclaimer on her posts and videos to relieve herself from the responsibility of how peoples’ DIY projects turn out. She is happy to show what she has done, give tutorials but she cannot take full responsibility for your outcome. It is crazy to think people expect that.
Something you also do not see in her beautiful pictures is the story of her son Lucas who was diagnosed with Spina Bifida (a birth defect that occurs when the spine and spinal cord don’t form properly). It was not diagnosed in his ultrasounds. It does however run in her family and she always had a gut feeling one of her children would be disabled in this way. Lucas had surgery at four weeks old to relocate his nerves and they didn’t know what the outcome would be. It was a miracle but for Lucas the result has been very positive, and most people would have no idea he has Spina Bifida. At times he is unsteady on his feet but otherwise he lives a very normal life. Because of the gut feeling, Bethany always thought about accessibility in her home and took it into account when building her salon. She was one of six children and so was her father. Her aunt and her were both the fourth children in their families born on the same date and both had a child with spina bifida. An eerie coincidence. In the early days of his diagnosis she felt very alone in it. She is more of a communicator than her husband and they coped in different ways. Her faith and her ability to realize her husband processes things differently than she does helped her to get through this time.
So how does she manage her business on and offline while being a mother to her three kids? It is far from perfect, but she knows how to keep herself sane. “When your children go to school there is a loss that sets in that people don’t openly talk about. If you don’t find ways to maintain your independence while they are young it can make you feel very misplaced when they go off to Kindergarten and beyond.”
A sadness can set in during this phase of motherhood, but it really helps if you have kept pieces of yourself and continued to pursue your interests while your children are pre school age. I highly encourage women to keep their brain active during maternity leave and while your children are young. Even if you are not working in a traditional sense, you can find ways to keep your mind growing. Reading, listening to podcasts, volunteering, doing some work from home, assisting with an event, being active. Whatever floats your boat but just make sure you stay on the boat. Bethany is a shining example of this.
“The serotonin boost I get from being active is worth investing in. If I don’t get my gym or workout time, my kids notice a change in my mood. They support me being active because it makes me better.” Being active helps Bethany keep up her energy and her mood and she vows to never let that go. Her drive makes her a great role model for her children to go for their dreams and work hard.
Bethany and Art create boundaries to protect their family time. Friday nights and Sundays are for time together. They both work Saturdays and weekdays can be busy with activities, so this time is precious, and they protect it. They are also protective of their goals. Exciting things are on the horizon for them as a couple. HGTV and Property Brothers are trying to find a show for them. The funding in Canada is lacking so this dream may take awhile but I have a gut feeling we will be watching them in our homes very soon. Bethany also recently launched her new This Little Estate Podcast “How to Build a Creative Life that Fills You Up!” You can find her Podcast at http://www.thislittleestate.comor follow her Instagram accounts @bethanythislittleestate or @bethanythislittlesalon
Another dream of theirs would be to foster children and perhaps adopt one day. “We are comfortable and have a lot more to give, so we will most likely welcome more children into our family.” Forever a helper and a giver; I am so inspired by Bethany’s positive spirit and hustle.
Story Written by Jenn DiRaddo Jefferson of Career PUMP
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