“I have always asked for what I want and typically I receive. If you take a risk on me, I will work really hard. I only do work I believe in – that is how you do great things.”
Living through a touch of adversity pushed Morgan to be an advocate for herself and others. As a child who was bullied for being odd and herself, she rose above; she wasn’t willing to change to fit in.
Morgan is all about living a life of vulnerability and openness with courage. She encourages women, through her side hustle, Live it Active, to ask themselves some uncomfortable questions. “You don’t rise up by pulling other people down”. Morgan dedicates her career and side hustle to pushing others to have difficult conversations that encourage deep personal and professional shifts to happen. She hosts retreats to help women write their personal manifesto and tune into their inner, perhaps dormant, gritty badass while remaining compassionate to themselves along the way. This type of retreat is right up my alley!
She has always had a strong draw toward psychology and exercise which led to the niche she carved out for herself in corporate health and wellness. “I don’t think I am not overly talented at anything, but I work hard, and it pays off.” By producing results, she can set boundaries at work that are respected. Working full-time in the oil and gas industry, she most recently she has started a role overseeing her company’s diversity and inclusion portfolio.
For Morgan, becoming a mother was a tumultuous shift from an identity standpoint. It was a profound change for her to not be intellectually stimulated but challenged in a whole new way – it’s the hardest thing she’s ever done.
As a mother of two under three, she finds the balance extremely hard. After moments of deep introspection, she came to realize her number one value is freedom. This freedom gets zapped on maternity leave and Morgan did not melt into this stage of life. Going back to work after both maternity leaves has presented its own unique challenges. She feels there is a huge gap when it comes to transitioning women back to the workforce from maternity leave or staying at home with children. I completely agree with this and hope by shedding light on some of the issues women face when retuning to work, we can work on narrowing that gap.
Luckily, she was able to do a graduated return to work starting with three days and building up to five. She was able to get caught up behind the scenes a bit before being thrown into the hustle again. But even this wasn’t smooth sailing as she navigates all the mounting responsibilities. Although she has decided to go back full time, she feels many women who go back for three days end up working a full-time load and cramming it into three days or working nights and weekends at home to catch up. All while being paid for only the three-day work week.
Simplifying life by being selective of the social engagements and protecting her family time make it easier to cope with the stress and chaos of the every day. She prioritizes her health and is vigilant about scheduling in her exercise, massage, acupuncture and beloved book club. These things fill her up. By doing what matters most to her she can be more present and content when she is with her family.
This really resonates with what I am trying to encourage with Career Pump. Fill up your cup with things that ignite you, rest when you need it; and in turn you will have the energy to be your best self for your family and parts of life that matter most to you.
“I am much better mother when I work. I had a lot of shame saying that at first, but I have confidence to share that openly now. When I am with my kids, I’m immersed in them. Nothing will make me more contented than my children, my best work is my kids, but I still need my career and that is ok.”
Exhaustion, navigating parenting decisions, discipline and managing a schedule that works for everyone, can lead to snapping at your partner. It is easy to lash out at the other adult in the house, even when deep down you believe you are on the same side. “Your own attachment style can emerge from your childhood and it may be different from your partner”. So how do we break the pattern and find a healthy new norm for our families that amalgamate the best parts from both childhoods? Morgan and Evan had varied upbringings; leading them to bring different styles to the table. They strive to find the right balance for their family.
Morgan and I dove into the topic of spousal relationships after kids and agree that clear communication is part and parcel for survival. Not just communication but timely and two-sided communication.
“Today we tend to be kid obsessed and we can lose ourselves and the connection to our spouse. Having a solid foundation as parents can do a lot for our children and their future relationships. My end goal is to remain married and be in a kind, nice marriage. In my immediate family this is the only part that is optional, and I want to preserve it. I know I can be nasty, and I need to constantly keep in mind that we are a team.” There can be so much going on logistically that our conversations can be dominated by these plans, but it is important to spend time in the uncomfortable, figure our why you are reacting a certain way and slog through it together. Morgan and her husband have become good at spending time in the uncomfortable. Many couples simply avoid this, and it can take its toll.
Another way to keep a connection with your spouse (you know, that person you decided to start a family with because not only do you love them but like them!!!) is to make time for fun. This can be finding little pockets every day to laugh together and with your kids but also to go do fun things together. Dinner dates out are nice to talk to each other uninterrupted, but it can also be so revitalizing to spend time doing something silly, engaging or challenging together to remember why you chose to spend this life side by side. Morgan and Evan recently did an escape room together and learned new things about each others’ personalities.
Morgan wants other parents to know that raising kids, working full-time, and remaining married isn’t easy, but it’s completely possible with a clear goal in mind (e.g. you want to remain married) and commitment to your choices. She also believes that even in today’s modern era of sharing and openness, we still remain closed about our deepest troubles and turmoil. Moms need to talk to other moms about what they’re feeling, thinking and experiencing (and their spouses, of course). Sleep deprivation, marriage strife, depression, overwhelming joy, children biting and hitting at dayhome – it all needs airtime. In order to heal it, we need to feel it.
Morgan is on a path of continuous learning at work and at home and is hyper aware of the life she is living. She is currently working toward her Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Certificate to become a certified teacher and plans to commence her MBA in 2020 (if she can get her sh** together). I can’t wait to attend her next Live it Active retreat in Ontario and see what comes next for Morgan.
Follow Morgan on Instagram at Live it Active @liveitactiveyyc
Story Written by Jenn DiRaddo Jefferson Founder of Career Pump
Follow Career Pump on Instagram @careerpump
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